if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
