Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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