So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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