TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
