Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
