Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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