Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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