you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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