My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
