OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
