I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she looked like the before picture.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
