Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
