"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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