Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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