Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
