I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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