Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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