I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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