a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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