Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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