i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
