woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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