it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
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just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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