No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
