I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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