Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
