I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
