Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
