You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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