am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I could fuck to npr.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
