How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
