you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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