Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
