my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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