I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
