She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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