Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
