She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate