school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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