why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
