If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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