she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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