i jhust puked up my retainher.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
