Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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