im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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