What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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