Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?