Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs