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why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
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