i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
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Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."