can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
