If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize