Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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