He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
