woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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