i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
